13 commandments of a good tourist in New York

Hello, hello,  little mosquito!

I’m sure that, sometimes, you’ve read articles about “what not to do while visiting a city”. And since I am an absolutely uncommon and inventive blogger, I did my very own list of the 13 things to avoid while visiting New York. Follow me, c’est par ici:

• Thou shalt not employ the whole sidewalk

I know that Sex and the City showed that New York women are always walking in line of 4, in the middle of an almost empty sidewalk, on a Friday night. But at the same time, that show pictures an heroine spending huge amounts of money in shoes, while living in an apartment which should currently costs something like 5K, even though her job does not seem to pay a lot. Lesson? We should not believe everything you saw in Sex and the City and must not use all the sidewalk while walking with our friends. Two people aside is ok, and will spare us from getting insulted.

• Thou shalt not hobble along neither stop abruptly

I am totally aware that you are on vacation and consequently you have the chance to take your time. But there are more than 1.6MIO people living in Manhattan and they have something else in mind than bump into people stopping unexpectedly.

• Thou shalt not zigzag on the sidewalk

Same thing from above. When I am stuck behind someone zigzagging, I just want to cut him in two pieces, from up to bottom. (But that precise point is even more accurate when it comes to american too busy on their phone to focus on their path!)

• Thou shalt not use your f*****g selfie stick

First of all, you risk to skewer people every time you make a movement. Also, you look like a giant moron idiot both of the previous. Especially when you use the device to check your hair while walking down the streets.

• Thou shalt not unfold your huge map in the middle of the street

I can easily understand that you can get lost (you are currently reading the blog of the girl who has the worse sense of direction on the entire universe. I once got lost in a restaurant’s bathroom. True story.) Anyway, moving a little bit from the exact middle of the way to check the 3′ x 4′ map is always a great idea! Otherwise, it’s always possible to a) ask for the way. New Yorkers are really nice people and would be more than happy to help or b) spend $50 and buy a SIM card with 3g to get a GPS everywhere.

• Thou shalt not lay on the floor to take a picture of your friend

I know that the picture showing you “handling” the top of the Empire State building will be a total success on Facebook – 17 like, 4 « lol » and 2 “Fun bro, gr8!” but please, DO NOT.

• Thou shalt not hesitate for two hours while it’s your turn to order

In the majority of self-ordering restaurants, either the menu is displayed, or someone will give it to you while you wait. Try to use the time here to make your choice instead of blathering. When you will be in front of the employee, it will be too late to ask yourself whether you prefer the meat or the fish. (I can be quite agressive when I am hungry! 🙂 )

• Thou shalt not stare at people

In a city where 8MIO people live, no doubt that you will cross the way of some unique people, like the one walking with his cat on his head. Try not to stare at them idiotically, with your mouth open. Same thing in the subway. Do not ask me, but the rule here is: no eye-contact. (Does someone knows why by the way?)

• Thou shalt not “forget about the TIP”

I know you spent weeks planning your trip to New York, and I am pretty sure you read everything about it in books or on Internet. So don’t fool me by saying you weren’t aware that you had to tip the waiter. I know that 15 to 25% is a lot, it also hurts me to give 15% tip for less than average service, and I am also aware that you’ll need to add the taxes. But it’s New York, it’s expensive, and unfortunately we can’t do anything about it!

• Thou shalt not go to Macdonalds.

Same thing for Burger King, KFC or Wendy’s. First of all because it’s crappy food, but the best reason to avoid those restaurant places is because you can find a ton of nicer way to eat in New York. It would be a shame eating there.

• Thou shalt not forget to educate your children
  

If they could avoid laying down on the subway seats when it’s crowded, shouting like crazy in closed areas or putting their dirty fingers in the Sunday brunch buffet, it would be really, really nice.

• Thou shalt not cut the lines

If you can’t help it, you can overtake the nice Peruvian tourist queuing in front of you at the Tussaud museum, but don’t try to do it with a New-Yorker, nobody does that here. And if you cannot stand the long lines, think about spending your vacations in Iowa. (I am currently considering the fact of moving in Iowa!)

See ya’!

Every little story above is based on real facts. 🙂

See ya’!